A Note from Montana's Swan Valley

“There is so much wildlife here, if you look into the woods you will definitely see something.” Robin is driving us deeper into the forest. This dirt road takes us to the Beck Homestead in Montana’s Swan Valley, where we’re immersed in a culture of leaves, paws, wings, claws, and hooves. He peers out the driver’s side window searching for every possible glimpse of animal, and I kiss his cheek each moment that it won’t interrupt his driving- or his looking.

I’ve told him on walks that my love for nature extends only as far as my interest in the esthetics of it. But I realize I am in love with this pure air, the mountains, and the creatures of the Swan Valley… not for their intrinsic beauty, but for their peace-giving properties, and for what they have done to my man. I am swooning, this time, at the sight of his eyes, as they are back-lit by a new inspiration. He says, “All my life I’ve just driven past forests, I never realized how much there is to see by actually looking into them. I would have driven slower.” And he was driving slow, so enamored by the thought of spotting a creature to teach me about.

At night, we arrive at the base of a grand, grassy hill and are facing a gigantic three-story barn. Warm amber light spills from the windows and the trees crescent, cradling, like an oyster holds its pearl.

We walk hand-in-hand up the hill. To my right, an open plain, a pond, where some twenty whitetail deer bend their necks over cool, moist earth. Mystified, I am drawn there.

A proud bird lands very close to me on the wooden fence, puffing forward a red-feathered belly, its beak eagerly showing off a worm. In this way, the bird delays its dinner for a few minutes, watching me carefully, as I soak in the majesty of a patch of land that is loved and respected- just for what it is.

 Does she, the bird, want to show me the worm, for how richly we are rewarded when we strive? Or… maybe she’s looking into my eyes, seeing what I feel while holding on to my love’s hand, as I am looking out onto all he wants to teach of and protect, respect and learn. His vision is a tangible one, one that can be understood by letting the warblers and chickadees excite, make contact with an Earth who is telling us something, and listen, and be changed. In dreams I’ve been told his spirit belongs here, and as such is such and is a proven truth to me today, then so do I. I should ask the bird, but she's eating now.

Now here's my wish.  

Let us all write notes from the Swan Valley, or find something like this within!

~ Laura

Today

- Took my love to the airport and watched him fly away.
- Printed stickers and typed invoices into a spreadsheet for an oil distributor.
- Drove in some of the worst snowy road conditions I've ever seen.
- Purchased a sledgehammer and with the help of my friend Kyle, destroyed my favorite desk on the side of the road.
- Snuck into a house.
- Drank the best Latte of my life.
- Danced the Argentine Tango.
- New England Clam Chowder, need I say more.
- Was encouraged by my man to follow my dreams and live the life I was born to live.
-Fell asleep in a nice warm bed.
okay, the last one is just a guess ;)

When my friends find out I became a Christian...

2008... It was one thing to share the good news that I'd accepted Jesus Christ with my Christian friends. But it was something altogether different to let my Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist, Hindu, Jewish, and Secular Humanist buddies know. I recall the day I was forced to "come out" as a Christian, I was on a nice walk with Clark and Josh. I remember exactly the twinge I felt when I was asked about my facebook status change to Christianity.

 1 Peter 3:15-18

^15: But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

 ^16: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.

 ^17: For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. 

As best as I could in that moment, I described my reasons for turning to God. Then I was asked how I could possibly "narrow it down" from all other religions, declaring the God of the Bible to be the one true God and all others false. I said God exists, and that I knew I needed forgiveness, and that the only way to get that was through Jesus Christ. Did I do a good job explaining the "reason for the hope that was within me"? No, I don't think so. But I wonder if I were asked the same question now, would I do much better?

I remember Josh telling me that he's Atheist but he'd love to be convinced of the existence God. I think back on that and wish I could've been used by God to provide that answer he needed for why Faith is essential. 

 

Ephesians 6:12-16

"12: For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13: Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14: Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15: And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked."

It was Clark that said to me, "I see faith  in God as being a cop-out and a sign of weakness." I remember that I wasn't offended when I heard that... because after all, I'd said it so many times myself. Only a half-year before that walk with Josh and Clark, I had written about my disbelief in God and was boldly declaring that God could not possibly exist. In a short time, I'd experienced a massive shift in my understanding of the world and reality, and it was a shocker, even to me!

So if Faith in God is a cop-out, what exactly are we Christians coping-out from? I wish I had been as well-read in the Bible and understood myself then so that I could answer Clark with these important points:

Faith is indeed a covering, and a form of protection. Here a few things I can think of right now that I need to be protected from.

Negative, detrimental thoughts that seemingly come out of nowhere. In the Bible, these are described as "fiery darts."
-I'll pass on that one, thanks.
A life without true love. Separation from God.
-Sounds awful! I'm gonna cop-out on that.
A life lived in vain following after things that are a dead end.
- If copping out of this one means that I'm accepting Christ, then that's cool with me!

For so many years of my life, I looked down at the "shield of Faith" leaned up against the wall beside me and looked away thinking, I don't need that... I have fists, and a mind, and good intentions.

...But what happens when things come at you that you can't control and you begin to behave in ways that don't line up with your secular-humanist morals? When I felt myself slipping, I'd keep on living the lie! The lie was the belief that I was fighting as best I can to be the person I wanted to be.

But now I know from Ephesians 6:13 that I haven't done ALL I CAN unless I use what God has given me, placed next to me, if only I'll pick it up and put it on.

I got my Faith from continuously exposing myself to the word of God even though I didn't believe it. I wasn't stuck up living with a closed mind. I wanted truth! And I just wanted to learn, specifically so that I could better argue against it. Oh, the irony!

Romans 10:17 "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."

So now that I do have my Faith, I need to work hard with God's help to make sure that it expresses itself in healthy, biblical ways... instead of yelling on street corners and causing more people to permanently count God out of the equation. I found this:

Galatians 5:6 "For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love."

If I were to say this in my own words, it'd go like this: Screw the details, they mean nothing... all that matters in this life after accepting Jesus Christ is DEMONSTRATING YOUR FAITH FOR HIM IN SHARING TRUE CHRISTIAN LOVE WITH OTHERS. Anything less can't be a true faith in Christ.

Faith is incredible. It's power given to us by God. But I know it has no influence if  I'm not walking in love. Joyce Meyer says it better than I could,  "I don't jump out of bed saying wwoooooo!!!! Who can I serve? What can I give away?! No, you have to do it on purpose."

I know that whether it's trying to powerfully witness to my siblings who unfortunately haven't yet placed their faith in Jesus Christ, or taking a leisurely stroll with my friends, I know that it's going to take God's grace and not my own power to make a lasting impact. All this talk only plants seeds and I know that what happens after that isn't in my hands. I do pray that I can demonstrate my faith by walking in love instead of just talking, and that I can increase my faith by continually receiving the word of God and successfully planting it in my heart.

Because, I don't want to be one of those self-declared Christians that does MASSIVE damage to the name of Jesus Christ.

Thanks for reading! :) 

Mark 4:12-20

" 12: That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them.

13: And he said unto them, Know ye not this parable? and how then will ye know all parables?

14: The sower soweth the word.

15: And these are they by the way side, where the word is sown; but when they have heard, Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word that was sown in their hearts.

16: And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness;

17: And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ariseth for the word's sake, immediately they are offended.

18: And these are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the word,

19: And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.

20: And these are they which are sown on good ground; such as hear the word, and receive it, and bring forth fruit, some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some an hundred."

The House

Lighting incense I welcome myself back to my little home, an airy, light blue room in the corner of this aching house.

The house wants a family. It needs a fire lit in its fireplace down in its belly and up in its heart by the wide and wooden staircase. I hear it creak in places it probably shouldn't, the noise is the house asking for photographs to be hung in its blank hallways.

The house sees Christmas being strung on every other doorway and bush, the wreaths and the bows. But inside this house the women brush by each other just as brooms to webs.

In my room there is a Christmas. My heart glows for love coming my way. So... my hopeful eyes will light a warm inviting fire in this house and even as I leave I'll hum, mmmm, mmmmmm... and my song will fix a golden wreath on the door, and my smile will spin itself around porch posts, burst white like fireworks into tiny flickering lights reflecting on the icicles dripping lazily off the gutter's edges.

Christmas will come to this house. It will have a family. I live in this house, and my family lives in me.

Rich, Rich, Rich

My wealth is beyond measure. I am rich in relationships! Good hearts, gathered round a table generously laden, I got an eyefull of joy, love, and peace.

I've always enjoyed talking with my family members and it's hard to get time with them alone, but I recently discovered a hack into their routine busy-ness.

Spa treatments.

I've actually been doing this for several years now, taking the ladies of the family away individually for anywhere between 15 min to an hour for nail painting, eyebrow plucking, etc. But now I've realized why I enjoy it so much.

I love it because I get time alone with people I love while having valuable, unique conversations.

When was the last time I was able to hear about my Grandmother (Enriquez) and her rise out of poverty in Naguabo, Puerto Rico? Never actually. I've never been able to hear about it in her own words until today, her softened feet propped up under the desklamp while I meditated over each stroke of WetNWild #426.

I also like serving my family and knowing I'm helping with the general mood in the household. Any woman feels better when she has freshly manicured nails and arms and back that have just been massaged. I'm glad I can be the go-to-girl in the house for fun and free beauty treatments. I always want to do it.

And let's not forget the guys. Well there's not much strategy to it because this one's easy. I find the best way to enter down new paths of conversation with a man in my family is to literally walk down a new path together. It's good to get outside for a walk and this loosens things up. But generally just plopping down on the sofa next to my Grandpa, or my Dad, my Uncle, or my Brother is all it takes to really get talking and connect. I love my family so much!

Rich, Rich, Rich.