The Internet

The past couple days I've been having trouble with my internet connection at home and so have had to figure out what to do instead of surfing...
I realized how powerful a tool the internet is and how I sometimes misuse it with mindless browsing. Here and there I do a couple productive things, but not enough to make it wholly worthwhile. And what if it all disappeared one day? It's easy to imagine catastrophe that cuts us off from the invisible world wide web. I know several people who build their livelihoods around the availability of the internet, a most dangerous livelihood at that because it could all come crashing down, taking with it any proof of what you've accomplished.
I'm going through this transition period right now where I start plugging in and working full time. Is it really worth the risk to invest myself fully in the internet? I plan to spend a little more time in the physical world before I dive in. Maybe I'll gain a little more perspective.
Read the Printed Word!

Exploring my Options

Life could go in a million different directions right now! I'm about to move out West to Missoula, Montana and everything is up in the air. I don't know where I'll live, work, anything... but I do know I'm gonna be a Grizzly! I like this blanket I found on  It shows a big grizzly bear and a beautiful mountain range. I just realized that when I was a little girl, I had a teddy bear with a grizzly-hump back! So maybe living in the wilds of Montana surrounded by grizzlies will actually subconsciously serve to relax me. ;)

Lately I haven't been sure what to do with my shop, SongbirdsBranch. I only have one item for sale and its been quite a while since I first listed it. I have even gone so far as to purchase a domain name and build a nice website for my brand.
While I do feel somewhat discouraged, I know that I've done very little to promote the item (financial reasons) and build up the shop with more merchandise. Truth is, I'm afraid to pour what little money I have down the drain, even if the drain is something I made with my own hands. Also my upcoming move has prompted me to try and simplify my life. No shopping for new things, even if they're craft supplies. What should I do when I get to Montana? Continue building and growing my own business in floral design using the tools on That sounds amazing to me, but is it really, truly what I want to do? Should I help Robin start the t-shirt business he wants so badly? Absolutely. I can't wait to start exploring these options, but for now they're in gridlock until I arrive in Montana!

Staying in touch with my dreams...

Having dreams isn't easy. Part of me is afraid to name and number them in the first place. One by one they dissolve from big frothy foam into watery goals, and goals so often slip away through life's little cracks. But yesterday in conversation with Rob I began to see things from a new perspective.

"I'm feeling so slow and tired. I think I have jazz withdrawal. I need to sing more, and start listening to jazz again."
"I'm feeling tired too. Maybe you have lyme disease!"
"Don't you ever feel drained when you haven't expressed yourself creatively in a while? Like when you haven't written in a long time? Jazz is a part of my identity and when I'm not in touch with it, I feel like a part of who I am is dying or going to waste."
"If jazz were are part of your identity, you wouldn't need to force it. It would just come naturally to you. You'd be out there doing whatever you can to get opportunities to perform."
"That can't be true. Jazz has always been one of the ways I express myself."
"Maybe it used to be. People grow and change, our identities are always being shaped and re-worked. You aren't who you were 3 years ago, and neither am I. Not long ago I wrote all the time, but now I don't even like to write. But it'll come back."

So if we're always changing, what can we do to stay "true to ourselves"? For so long I thought that an identity was something you had to fight for, long to be categorized by, something worth keeping. After a while of thinking, I began to see there are some things about people that generally rarely change. Today, I was looking back through old journal entries and came across a list that had nothing to do with how I want to be perceived, and it struck me as kind of a note from the future... except I wrote it last year.

My dreams.
• Peaceful mornings in the countryside where I can lay in bed dozing while the fresh breeze ruffles the curtain.
• A happy, loving family built on God, love, trust, and respect.
• A reason to get dressed up in the evenings, every now and then.
• A pond to jump in when it's Summertime.
• Good friends, familiar faces, warm, hearty greetings. Laughter.
• A flower garden where I can grow & cut flowers for arrangements.
• To see Venice. Thailand. Castles in Ireland.
•  To go dancing with my husband.
• To sing my heart out.
•  A fireplace. Creeping vines/ivy. A staircase, a dog, a courtyard with a tree.
• Sailing! To sail, or soar!
• I want to be the kind of Mom whose children aren't afraid to approach her about their problems, who never makes her children feel betrayed, who inspires the respect and obedience of her children, not through force but through genuine love.
• I want a man who will respect me and help me to always continue to grow and learn, who can find ways to show his love for me, who I am attracted to mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. He will be a good, kind, patient, and loving father who takes part in raising his children and supporting their emotional health by being a huge presence in their lives.
• Although I will have a lot of pursuits and responsibilities, I would like to have enough time to take care of myself, my physical appearance, to have time to write and read, go for a walk- those kinds of things.
• I want to live a life in line with God's vision for me.

Despite what interests me in the moment, I think that these things will endure the test of time!! :)

Anne Taintor, Inc. 01434 Magnet , Voila! 40W, 3-3/8-Inch, Square 

Content by Laura Gabriele